me and luck..... this is not a love story!

i need to see how i write about this subject without writing on it....its gonna be hard..........maybe i just need to write it just as a draft.....i don't know  - but i think i'm out of luck - especially when it comes to.... maybe its because of the fact that i was raised by a woman - maybe because of the fact that i never really had a male roll model when i was growing up..... maybe its the fact that i'm fact up (more likely - fucked up)....

i don't know, i don't know, i don't know......... and i hate not knowing....

fuck it - i just......

why do we need it - why do we  believe in it - this is just dumb luck......

i thought it would change this connection between us - thought that if time heals all wounds (or old wounds) - this should pass....or change for the better but i just lied to myself and made myself believe that maybe for once it will work out - maybe this time it will happen..... but as in luck - it turns.... just made a fool out of myself for believing a dream - but aren't we all dream..... i just thought.... and thats the main problem - i think i need to stop doing that - thinking!

well..... i think i did it well enough - writing about it - with out writing about it....

and on second thought (i can't help my self - i'm addicted - can't stop) the one who shouldn't read it will never actually read it any way - so safe - and i troubled my self for nothing - yeah i'm good at doing that....

well....goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite :)

couldn't choose which one was better.... 

washing my thoughts.......

gotta write it some where - so here is as good as any place.
i probably shouldn't post this - but when you feel - like you lost it all - theres nothing more to lose....

its amazing - i herd from you more - when i was far away
but now that i'm close i don't here from you at all.....

i wonder whats the mathematical equation for this..... cos it looks like unsolvable math problem :)



i guess its all about the way you arrange your prioritize - i think i'm somewhere around 4 or 5 which is not bad at all - but not good enough - friends come 2 in my list.... thought you'll have time for me this week or just see me once - see my new apartment, for example, i'm here 2 weeks already - i was mistaken - i'm not bitter about it - just a little sad. but i get it and thats even better.... better then not getting or understanding it at all. i'm learning.

the problem is - its always easier to get back in the shall.
NOT ANY MORE!

so.....i'm in warsaw....and i'm going out again

so ppl wherever you are - your more then welcome to join me :)

O.K. one last song from Mr.Wonder - just coz he makes me smile.



enjoy this warn night......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeMfwUN5z_4&feature=related#q=Stevie%20Wonder&st=disco